Blood Sugar: 87
So I found out last night that I am a bad diabetic. Honestly, I was just shocked by the revelation. 8 years ago, I considered myself a bad diabetic. I didn't actively try to control what I ate or my blood sugars and I pretty much lived with my blood sugar, I'm sure, astronomically high. But something happened 5 years ago...I don't know if it was just something inside of me that said, "you are killing yourself every day you don't TRY to control your blood sugar," or if it was my impending marriage or the fact that I was now a mamaw...but my attitude changed. I was proactive, and if anyone knows me, proactive is not really my style...mostly I just want to hang out and see what happens. I found a doctor, I counted carbs, I decided I wanted an insulin pump to help me get things back into an acceptable range. And I've rocked it. Sure I have high blood sugars now and then and low blood sugars too...but it's NOTHING like it was prior to being on the pump. So what caused someone to say that I was a "bad diabetic"? The reply caused me to gag a little...I'm a bad diabetic because I take insulin. Uh, no, I'm alive today because I take insulin and that has NOTHING to do with being bad versus being good. As a matter of fact, my accuser went onto tell me that it was good that I didn't have children because bad diabetics cannot have successful pregnancies. What rock has my informer been living under? Keri at www.sixuntilme.com just successfully produced a little angel and there are millions of more stories like hers...but I think the hardest thing to take was the fact that I'm NOT the bad diabetic I was and I'm pretty proud of the control I have now and prefer the way I feel most of the time now better than before. I don't know, it just really rubbed me the wrong way and I wondered if anyone else had any thoughts on this...I think diabetes sucks and I think that people are either good or bad, but diabetes cannot be either. I have good days and I have bad days, but so does every non-diabetic in the world. Diabetes is something I live with but it is not something that defines who I am, I define how I handle it and what I allow it to affect in my life. While diabetes is a distinct part of who I am and does play into my decision making process (ie do I have enough insulin in my pod to eat that chocolate covered cream puff) it is NEVER the sole factor in my decisions. Thoughts?
Showing posts with label Pumping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pumping. Show all posts
Friday, August 13, 2010
Friday, April 17, 2009
When Things Fall Apart
Blood Sugar: 182
Ok, so it didn't fall apart, we disassembled it. This is the interior of my pod. Who knew that you could fit all that stuff in the little thing I wear on my body that keeps me ticking? I think this is really an amazing piece of work. I guess this is my moment at 'art'! LOL I think the inner-workings of my pod is very symbolic of life with diabetes. It's a culmination of a million little things that make diabetes doable...livable. Every spring,screw, and piece of plastic has a purpose to fulfill in keeping me going...just like every blood test and every carb I count has a purpose to fulfill. Interesting, that something so complicated and intricate comess in a small plastic dome that I wear. Who knew?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Happy One Year Anniversary?
Blood Sugar: 170
Today marks the anniversary of me switching from traditional injections to the OmniPod. Do you say happy anniversary for something like this? I mean, it's a bit bittersweet when you look at it from my angle. I love being on the OmniPod. I love the vast changes it has made in my life--TO my life. My quality of life is better, I feel better, I am able to do more things than when I was on injections. But I am still and always will be a chronically ill person with the job of managing a disease that is not manageable. Being on the OmniPod has really let me live a more normal life than I ever thought possible. Of course, there is no denying that diabetes is still a lot of work and it does take constant effort to control blood sugars that change without rhyme or reason, but it's a little different now. There's no more leering people at restaurants as I inject myself, there's no more questions about it hurting, there's less limitations that I face, but it remains my ever-constant...companion. It's funny when you stop and really look at things--it seemed so easy on the surface to just say, "Yeah, no more shots for me," but then reality sets in and you know that you can be happy about this little thing, and many people won't understand why and you lack the words to explain it...Wouldn't life be easier if we could just accept the happy without looking at the sad? Well--happy anniversary to me, because I just want to be a little happy.
Today marks the anniversary of me switching from traditional injections to the OmniPod. Do you say happy anniversary for something like this? I mean, it's a bit bittersweet when you look at it from my angle. I love being on the OmniPod. I love the vast changes it has made in my life--TO my life. My quality of life is better, I feel better, I am able to do more things than when I was on injections. But I am still and always will be a chronically ill person with the job of managing a disease that is not manageable. Being on the OmniPod has really let me live a more normal life than I ever thought possible. Of course, there is no denying that diabetes is still a lot of work and it does take constant effort to control blood sugars that change without rhyme or reason, but it's a little different now. There's no more leering people at restaurants as I inject myself, there's no more questions about it hurting, there's less limitations that I face, but it remains my ever-constant...companion. It's funny when you stop and really look at things--it seemed so easy on the surface to just say, "Yeah, no more shots for me," but then reality sets in and you know that you can be happy about this little thing, and many people won't understand why and you lack the words to explain it...Wouldn't life be easier if we could just accept the happy without looking at the sad? Well--happy anniversary to me, because I just want to be a little happy.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wrapping Up The Journey
Blood Sugar: 128
So, the new doctor understood my need for the pump but also realized that I needed an endocrinologist to do it right. She suggested that I go see the endo she was affliated with. She said to go see the endo one time and if I didn't like her, that she would do what she had to do to get me pumping. I saw the endo and found another woman with the heart of a teacher. She wanted to help me, she wanted me on the pump, she wanted me to have a better life. As far as doctors go, I've hit my second grand slam. They are both terrific. So I saw the endo the first time in June 2007. I saw her CDE (Certified Diabetes Educator)in July and we applied to my insurance for coverage of a pump. Of course it was a fight. The insurance company didn't want to give me a pump because I hadn't bothered to take care of myself all this time, let alone go to the doctor. So they said that because I hadn't been seen by a doctor 4 times in the last year, that they wouldn't approve me. It was a long road...but I got my appointments in and started on my pump 6 months later. Quite the change from my original doctor. And I'm going strong. My only regret is that I didn't make the switch sooner, but I guess that everything has it's reason and purpose and I have to accept that. Maybe the wait was a way for me to grow as a diabetic and caring for myself so that I was ready to go on the OmniPod in January. It's been life-changing...all for the better.
So, the new doctor understood my need for the pump but also realized that I needed an endocrinologist to do it right. She suggested that I go see the endo she was affliated with. She said to go see the endo one time and if I didn't like her, that she would do what she had to do to get me pumping. I saw the endo and found another woman with the heart of a teacher. She wanted to help me, she wanted me on the pump, she wanted me to have a better life. As far as doctors go, I've hit my second grand slam. They are both terrific. So I saw the endo the first time in June 2007. I saw her CDE (Certified Diabetes Educator)in July and we applied to my insurance for coverage of a pump. Of course it was a fight. The insurance company didn't want to give me a pump because I hadn't bothered to take care of myself all this time, let alone go to the doctor. So they said that because I hadn't been seen by a doctor 4 times in the last year, that they wouldn't approve me. It was a long road...but I got my appointments in and started on my pump 6 months later. Quite the change from my original doctor. And I'm going strong. My only regret is that I didn't make the switch sooner, but I guess that everything has it's reason and purpose and I have to accept that. Maybe the wait was a way for me to grow as a diabetic and caring for myself so that I was ready to go on the OmniPod in January. It's been life-changing...all for the better.
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