When Things Fall Apart

Blood Sugar: 182

Ok, so it didn't fall apart, we disassembled it. This is the interior of my pod. Who knew that you could fit all that stuff in the little thing I wear on my body that keeps me ticking? I think this is really an amazing piece of work. I guess this is my moment at 'art'! LOL I think the inner-workings of my pod is very symbolic of life with diabetes. It's a culmination of a million little things that make diabetes doable...livable. Every spring,screw, and piece of plastic has a purpose to fulfill in keeping me going...just like every blood test and every carb I count has a purpose to fulfill. Interesting, that something so complicated and intricate comess in a small plastic dome that I wear. Who knew?

Secrets

Blood Sugar: 210

So I was reading a guest post on the Diabetes OC and Leann talked about how she used to hide the fact that she was diabetic. Talk about relating. I spent years trying to keep it a secret. I didn't want anyone that did know to speak of it. I took great pains to make sure that I was always able to hide it. But why? It was simply the fact that I didn't want to be viewed as different. I didn't want to be categorized as sick. I didn't want to be singled out as "the diabetic". I just wanted to be. It seems so silly to me now. I mean, I'm writing a blog that focuses on being a person living with diabetes and I have pretty much opened the door to my life...my stuff...my eccentricities about it all...what do you do? The other day Dear Abby had a letter from a person that was recently diagnosed with diabetes and she was asking if it was appropriate to inject herself while at restaurants and whatnot...It was so relieving to read that someone else was asking this kind of question. I, too, have found myself places where I wondered if it were OK to just go ahead and shoot up...I couldn't see the logic of going to a public restroom to inject myself...OH THE GERMS!!!! I always tried to be discrete, but I wasn't shy. It's funny how I have changed. The big secret has changed into a badge of honor, if you will. You know, Hey! Look at me! I'm diabetic. Is is maturity? Maybe, but I think it is more of an acceptance of self. Why should I let anyone or what they think of me define me? I define me. I am what I am and you can take it or leave it. Once you accept yourself, and your condition there is no reason to ever look back. I hope you aren't hiding your illness...embrace it and live, it's not going anywhere!

Another day, another anniversary

Blood sugar: 129

So today's the big day...the big 2-5...It's hard to believe. It's another one of those situations where I have to ask is it a happy anniversary? What's the proper thing to say on a day like today? "Hey, Karin, glad you made it!" I know that many, many people live to have their 25th or even 50th anniversaries with diabetes, but yet again, it's bittersweet. I'm glad to be alive still. I'm glad that the treatments for diabetes have improved. I'm glad I'm here to blog about it. But would I be happier to not have to deal with the daily struggles, you bet. To not have to count the carbs that I eat, absolutely. To not be forced to stick myself with some sort of needle every day for the rest of my life, without question. But I'm not alone in this. It's something that millions of others face every day right along with me. So what if I'm a little rougher for the ride? I made it this far, right? And who's to say that I won't make it to my 50th? Well, that's entirely up to me and God, right? So here's to 25 years with diabetes! I've dealt with the big D this long...I can handle it as it comes.

Happy One Year Anniversary?

Blood Sugar: 170

Today marks the anniversary of me switching from traditional injections to the OmniPod. Do you say happy anniversary for something like this? I mean, it's a bit bittersweet when you look at it from my angle. I love being on the OmniPod. I love the vast changes it has made in my life--TO my life. My quality of life is better, I feel better, I am able to do more things than when I was on injections. But I am still and always will be a chronically ill person with the job of managing a disease that is not manageable. Being on the OmniPod has really let me live a more normal life than I ever thought possible. Of course, there is no denying that diabetes is still a lot of work and it does take constant effort to control blood sugars that change without rhyme or reason, but it's a little different now. There's no more leering people at restaurants as I inject myself, there's no more questions about it hurting, there's less limitations that I face, but it remains my ever-constant...companion. It's funny when you stop and really look at things--it seemed so easy on the surface to just say, "Yeah, no more shots for me," but then reality sets in and you know that you can be happy about this little thing, and many people won't understand why and you lack the words to explain it...Wouldn't life be easier if we could just accept the happy without looking at the sad? Well--happy anniversary to me, because I just want to be a little happy.

Disolve it all

Blood Sugar: 151

I have very sensitive skin. Not a big deal usually. I use lotion and try to keep up with how dry my skin can get from the weather or from the diabetes. So my pods have an adhesive circular pad on them that keep them where I put them. I rotate the sites that I use in an effort to assist in insulin absorption over time. So two spots that I rotate to are on either side of my stomach. Well, the first time I tried to remove a pod from there it left these horrendouse welts on my poor sensitive tummy. They were sore and they itched and it was miserable. The next time I decided to be more careful and I peeled it back and it was pulling my skin off. I was miserable. As usual, when I have a question I hit the net and started asking different discussion groups and other pumpers if they had this same problem and if so, what could I do? I was introduced to this laundry aid. It's not perfect, but it is SO much better than yanking the pod off my tummy. It has a nice citrus scent that isn't overly citrusy...it's not a chemical smell. It doesn't dry my skin out. I do still get a bit of a welt, but that's just my sensitivity to the adhesive---the welt is no longer as big as the pod! But the downside...the goo!!! That adhesive turns into the stickiest goo. My granddaughter saw me trying to clean it off my belly one night and said, "Mamaw, you got boogers?" It was extremely funny...but unfortunately very accurate. So that's my story. Sorry it took so long to get back in the blog groove. I have a couple blogs geared up, but I'm not quite finished writing. I hope you stay tuned...

Time Just Slips Away...

Blood Sugar: 111

So I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated! The holidays have really taken over at my house and we've been busy, busy, busy. Presents to buy and wrap, people to visit. Today we are heading to my mom's and tomorrow to dad's. Christmas with David's family is on Christmas Eve and then Christmas morning we'll be here with the kids. If only all the pieces were perfectly in their place...but alas, they are not. I hope that Christmas finds you in a merry place and that you are able to truly enjoy the time that you are spending with your loved ones. I hope that Santa is good to you and you at least have fun opening a few presents. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and Happy Hannukah....or just be happy because why not?!

I'll be back with more posting after Christmas!

I Survived

Blood Sugar: 84

So I have successfully completed a second surgery and as you can see, I am able to type and whatnot. This surgery was VASTLY different than the last one. For starters, I woke up in the OR. Wide awake and chatting to the nurses. It was really strange. I couldn't feel anything that they were doing and they had put a sheet up so I couldn't watch--which was fine--but there I was awake. Looking back I should have told her to give me a little more juice to knock me out, but it is what it is and I learned what not to do! LOL I took a couple of pictures of my stitches, but they aren't very good. This one was the best. So I have to keep using my hand and stretching my finger out and hopefully I won't have to go back in a month, but we'll see. I think if I have to do this again, I'm going to ask to be put back out in the OR and not chat and I also think I'm going to ask for stronger pain killers. I don't like taking pills, but when you hurt that bad, well, why not? I'd rather be drugged than in pain. How about you?