I'm Scared

Blood sugar: 175

So, I'm scared. I'm scared of a thousand different things and I honestly have no idea what is making me feel like I need to write about it tonight. I was just sitting here, changing my pod and realized that the insulin that I am putting in the pod, is a hot commodity. My new health insurance is an HSA insurance. They called it a way to help me better manage my healthcare costs. The reality of this is that it has caused me to readjust how I manage my diabetes because of the costs that I incur everytime I go to the pharmacy or doctor. Sure, I walk out of the doctor paying nothing and get to wait for the bill, but it's the prescriptions that have me quaking in my boots. I was putting the insulin in the pod and thought, "what if this pod fails?" I can't retrieve the insulin really, so can I afford to waste that much? I can't. I also don't test my blood sugar as often because I only have a set number of strips per month. I just have a lot of issues with the way our healthcare system is set-up and I have a lot of questions that go unanswered...for instance:
if the medication is life-sustaining, shouldn't you give me a break on the cost? I mean, charge me full price for the test strips, I can maneuver around that, but the insulin? I have to have it or I die...it's pretty cut and dry, no gray area there...

I can only imagine that it's going to get worse before it gets better. I know that everyone has their own opinions of the new healthcare reform and what is going on in our government and while I don't know all the particulars, I can safely say that something needs to happen...something big needs to happen. I know that I am not the only person that has found themselves in this kind of position either and like you I have pushed due dates on other bills in order to have enough to pay for the prescription that I can't live without...but this isn't like I'm eating steak on a Ramen noodle budget...there are no options. I make too much money for assistance, but not enough to cover my necessary expenses with any ease and still live. So what are you doing to cope with the costs of healthcare and related expenses? I'm open to suggestion!

I just know that I don't like this fear that lives inside of me...