Blood Sugar: 111
So I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated! The holidays have really taken over at my house and we've been busy, busy, busy. Presents to buy and wrap, people to visit. Today we are heading to my mom's and tomorrow to dad's. Christmas with David's family is on Christmas Eve and then Christmas morning we'll be here with the kids. If only all the pieces were perfectly in their place...but alas, they are not. I hope that Christmas finds you in a merry place and that you are able to truly enjoy the time that you are spending with your loved ones. I hope that Santa is good to you and you at least have fun opening a few presents. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and Happy Hannukah....or just be happy because why not?!
I'll be back with more posting after Christmas!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
I Survived
Blood Sugar: 84
So I have successfully completed a second surgery and as you can see, I am able to type and whatnot. This surgery was VASTLY different than the last one. For starters, I woke up in the OR. Wide awake and chatting to the nurses. It was really strange. I couldn't feel anything that they were doing and they had put a sheet up so I couldn't watch--which was fine--but there I was awake. Looking back I should have told her to give me a little more juice to knock me out, but it is what it is and I learned what not to do! LOL I took a couple of pictures of my stitches, but they aren't very good. This one was the best. So I have to keep using my hand and stretching my finger out and hopefully I won't have to go back in a month, but we'll see. I think if I have to do this again, I'm going to ask to be put back out in the OR and not chat and I also think I'm going to ask for stronger pain killers. I don't like taking pills, but when you hurt that bad, well, why not? I'd rather be drugged than in pain. How about you?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Occlusion Alarms
Blood Sugar: 88
So I just use the word occlusion in my everyday speech and had NO idea that no one else knew what it meant. So for the non-pumpers that are reading, an occlusion occurs when there is an issue in the canula, which is the tiny tube that is inserted under your skin with your insulin pump. I just recently had an occlusion and when I looked the canula was filled with blood which means that the pod I was wearing was not delivering insulin properly. So it's something that happens to us pumpers and it's annoying, but it doesn't make me want to go back on injections for any extended period. I haven't given myself a shot since January...I don't even feel like I could now, if I had to. But anyway, the whole point of this post is that I do not feel that my particular pump, the OmniPod, is very sensitive to an occulsion. Don't get me wrong, I love the OmniPod, I am not bothered by the pods I wear at all, but I would have liked an earlier alarm...you know prior to my blood sugar being 413. It made for a long day though. Checking my blood sugar and bolusing and checking and bolusing...it was finally better late that afternoon, but it's a hassle. What if the alarm had gone off in the middle of the night instead of when I got to work? I would have been up and changing it and fixing the issue with a 2 hundred-something blood sugar and that would have been WAY better. Still...the control that I have now via the OmniPod is something that I never dreamed of on injections. I used to wake up every morning with my blood sugar in AT LEAST the 300's...I definitely prefer the occasional high to the daily high!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I've Sorta Been Tagged
Blood Sugar: 172
The rules!
Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. So since this has been on the blog of three of my friends (Ginger, Barb and Laura), I'm going to do it with a Diabetes twist.
So let's get started, right?
1) I have been diabetic for almost 25 years and didn't really start taking care of myself (really) until last year.
2) With diabetes, I am at more risk for things like heart disease and dying of a heart attack, I also do not heal from injury as quickly and therefore I am more likely to get infections.
3) When I was growing up the big thing to talk about was all the diabetes complications that I could potentially face like blindness and kidney failure. So, I made my mom promise that if I went blind, I could get a dog. My priorities were SO out of line! LOL
4) I don't think a person really knows the truest sense of trust until you allow them to give you a shot.
5) Giving a shot is a lot like throwing a dart: you aim, you use a smooth straight motion...but the difference is that there is no follow-through and you shouldn't let go.
6) Diabetes care has drastically changed over the years, so you should not tell diabetics stories about how your grandma couldn't eat a piece of cake on her birthday or about how she had to have her leg amputated. Remember things are different now and the person you are speaking to is well aware of diabetes complications AND they are not your grandma.
7) I hate needles. I always have and because of this, I have always had some kind of device to insert any needle into me...a lancing device, an injector for syringes and the OmniPod ...this fear is the only reason I hate going to the doctor now.
So that's it...hopefully you enjoyed my list...it was fun to write it.
The rules!
Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. So since this has been on the blog of three of my friends (Ginger, Barb and Laura), I'm going to do it with a Diabetes twist.
So let's get started, right?
1) I have been diabetic for almost 25 years and didn't really start taking care of myself (really) until last year.
2) With diabetes, I am at more risk for things like heart disease and dying of a heart attack, I also do not heal from injury as quickly and therefore I am more likely to get infections.
3) When I was growing up the big thing to talk about was all the diabetes complications that I could potentially face like blindness and kidney failure. So, I made my mom promise that if I went blind, I could get a dog. My priorities were SO out of line! LOL
4) I don't think a person really knows the truest sense of trust until you allow them to give you a shot.
5) Giving a shot is a lot like throwing a dart: you aim, you use a smooth straight motion...but the difference is that there is no follow-through and you shouldn't let go.
6) Diabetes care has drastically changed over the years, so you should not tell diabetics stories about how your grandma couldn't eat a piece of cake on her birthday or about how she had to have her leg amputated. Remember things are different now and the person you are speaking to is well aware of diabetes complications AND they are not your grandma.
7) I hate needles. I always have and because of this, I have always had some kind of device to insert any needle into me...a lancing device, an injector for syringes and the OmniPod ...this fear is the only reason I hate going to the doctor now.
So that's it...hopefully you enjoyed my list...it was fun to write it.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Trigger Finger
Blood Sugar:
So, Wednesday, I will have my second surgery to release a trigger finger. I had the first surgery in June of this year. Trigger finger is a painful tendon problem. Anyone can have a trigger finger, but diabetics that have not taken care of themselves for a prolonged period are subject to the issues of it. It usually sets in on the ring fingers...but no finger is safe from the dastardly effects of it. It starts as a popping sensation when you move your fingers. It doesn't hurt then and it just feels weird. As it progresses though, it becomes more painful and the finger can eventually 'lock' in place--which I assume would make surgery more difficult. My doc said that sometimes it will only be in the ring fingers and he may or may not have to operate on the same fingers again, but it can attack all of the fingers and that equals 10 separate surgeries. WOO HOO! Go diabetes! But in all seriousness, of all the complications that can come from not taking care of yourself, this is really minor. My first finger is good. It's a little stiff when it gets cold out but other than that it works pretty well. It doesn't ache when it's going to rain, like Grandpa's back used to! LOL!
So this is what it says on www.mayoclinic.com about trigger finger, "Trigger finger is a condition in which one of your fingers or your thumb catches in a bent position. Your finger or thumb may straighten with a snap — like a trigger being pulled and released. If trigger finger is severe, your finger may become locked in a bent position.
Often painful, trigger finger is caused by a narrowing of the sheath that surrounds the tendon in the affected finger. People whose work or hobbies require repetitive gripping actions are more susceptible. Trigger finger is also more common in women than in men, and in anyone with diabetes."
So here I am, typical diabetic recipient of the pain in the finger! So for those of you reading who have never experienced it...it starts as just a popping sensation and then it gets painful. Surgery is quick, my doc schedules 30 minutes, but says it really takes him about 7. Healing is quick, I was using my hand the next day and by the time I went back to work on Monday, I was typing like normal. Sometimes they want to treat it with steroid injections, and thankfully I got to skip all that...haven't I had enough shots in my lifetime?!
So, Wednesday, I will have my second surgery to release a trigger finger. I had the first surgery in June of this year. Trigger finger is a painful tendon problem. Anyone can have a trigger finger, but diabetics that have not taken care of themselves for a prolonged period are subject to the issues of it. It usually sets in on the ring fingers...but no finger is safe from the dastardly effects of it. It starts as a popping sensation when you move your fingers. It doesn't hurt then and it just feels weird. As it progresses though, it becomes more painful and the finger can eventually 'lock' in place--which I assume would make surgery more difficult. My doc said that sometimes it will only be in the ring fingers and he may or may not have to operate on the same fingers again, but it can attack all of the fingers and that equals 10 separate surgeries. WOO HOO! Go diabetes! But in all seriousness, of all the complications that can come from not taking care of yourself, this is really minor. My first finger is good. It's a little stiff when it gets cold out but other than that it works pretty well. It doesn't ache when it's going to rain, like Grandpa's back used to! LOL!
So this is what it says on www.mayoclinic.com about trigger finger, "Trigger finger is a condition in which one of your fingers or your thumb catches in a bent position. Your finger or thumb may straighten with a snap — like a trigger being pulled and released. If trigger finger is severe, your finger may become locked in a bent position.
Often painful, trigger finger is caused by a narrowing of the sheath that surrounds the tendon in the affected finger. People whose work or hobbies require repetitive gripping actions are more susceptible. Trigger finger is also more common in women than in men, and in anyone with diabetes."
So here I am, typical diabetic recipient of the pain in the finger! So for those of you reading who have never experienced it...it starts as just a popping sensation and then it gets painful. Surgery is quick, my doc schedules 30 minutes, but says it really takes him about 7. Healing is quick, I was using my hand the next day and by the time I went back to work on Monday, I was typing like normal. Sometimes they want to treat it with steroid injections, and thankfully I got to skip all that...haven't I had enough shots in my lifetime?!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Hemaglobin A1c
Blood Sugar: 144
Ok, so prior to starting on the OmniPod, my A1c was 13.5%. WOW! It's supposed to be below 7. So I've been working and working at getting my basal levels set and checking my blood sugar more often and trying to eat better. In August, I went to my endo and my A1c then was 8.3%--quite an improvement. So yesterday, I had another one done as part of my pre-op exam for my surgery next Wednesday and it's a 7.9%! WOO HOO!!!! I don't think that it's EVER been in the 7's!!!! I know I still need to get it lower, but I just feel like this small victory empowers me to keep doing what I'm doing!
Ok, so prior to starting on the OmniPod, my A1c was 13.5%. WOW! It's supposed to be below 7. So I've been working and working at getting my basal levels set and checking my blood sugar more often and trying to eat better. In August, I went to my endo and my A1c then was 8.3%--quite an improvement. So yesterday, I had another one done as part of my pre-op exam for my surgery next Wednesday and it's a 7.9%! WOO HOO!!!! I don't think that it's EVER been in the 7's!!!! I know I still need to get it lower, but I just feel like this small victory empowers me to keep doing what I'm doing!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Let's Talk Needles
Blood Sugar: 385
So in my previous post, I mentioned that one of the things that I always keep on hand is a device to inject a syringe. Why, you may have asked yourself...there are many reasons. First and foremost, I am deathly terrified of needles. I hate to watch a needle go into my skin. I become quite squeamish to say the least. I've passed out on occasion and I've hurled once. So when I was young, my mom found an injector that you place a filled syringe into and then 'cock' it, place it over where you want to shoot it and push. Wa-la, you are injected without all the nasty business of watching it happen. That fear of needles caused my mother to find a solution for me and as an adult, when I decided that I wanted to switch to a pump, I had to figure out a way for me to avoid watching that needle every time I had to change my site. That fear led me to the OmniPod. I love it, I love it, I love it. It has changed my life for the better and has changed my quality of life completely. In the picture, I have a normal insulin syringe. The second syringe is the one used to fill the pod that I wear and finally the actual pod. It's quite ingenious really and has offered me a better option that using another type of 'injector'. No muss, no fuss...that's what I like.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Self-Admitted Over-Packer
Blood sugar: 192
I am an over-packer. It doesn't matter what I'm packing for, I over-pack. If it's a weekend trip, I need a bag full of clothes and shoes, a bag full of stuff to do in case I might get bored, a bag for my toiletries and my over-packed insulin case. I pack an arsenal of diabetes supplies everyday. I have a system. There is a method to my madness. But on an average day, I could take care of several diabetics in a pinch and still have plenty for me. I think I have the cutest bag (picked up from the cosmetic section at Target, photo) and I have it packed so that I know exactly what I have and what I need at a moment's notice. My husband knows that if he has to save one thing from the house, make sure I have this bag! I usually pack my bag when it's time for me to change my pod. My pod lasts for three days, so I have more than enough stuff to care for myself for three days. I assume that I take 10 blood tests a day, I don't usually, but if I felt the need I want the supplies. So this is what I pack: OmniPod PDM, bottle of insulin, (3) syringes, two extra batteries, a syringe injector, (30) alcohol swabs, OneTouch Ultra Mini meter, lancing device, glucagon kit, 3 extra pods, (30) cotton balls, (30) lancets, testing strips, a zippered pouch for trash and a BioFlip, from www.stickmedesigns.com, for lancets and/or other needle trash. Is this overkill? Some think so. But my reasoning is that fear is not your friend. I think it's better to have what I MIGHT need than to not have what I DO need. So what do you pack with you everyday? I know many people have found themselves in quite the predicament at times...as have I, if you can believe it! I also know that there are a lot of diabetics out there that don't change the lancet every time or use an alcohol swab...but I do because I feel like it's better safe than sorry...am I thinking ahead and being prepared or am I over doing it?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Yesterday's Debacle
Blood Sugar: 211
So I'm still dealing with the ramifications of yesterday afternoon. I ended up leaving work early yesterday. I got home at 5PM and went to bed and finally got up this morning. I feel better, but I'm trying to figure out what happened yesterday. It's hard to back-track and figure things out, but I'm going to have to...to keep from doing it again. I was a major cranky pants last night too and no one was safe from my wrath! I hate being like that. It's nobody's fault really and if I had to blame someone I would have to blame myself, right? So why take it out on everyone else? It's a pity and was a wasted night...today should be better. So As you could see, my sugar is still elevated this morning from yesterday. Why can't carb counting be easier? I'm pretty sure that was the central part of yesterday afternoon's demise. Today will be better. It will.
So I'm still dealing with the ramifications of yesterday afternoon. I ended up leaving work early yesterday. I got home at 5PM and went to bed and finally got up this morning. I feel better, but I'm trying to figure out what happened yesterday. It's hard to back-track and figure things out, but I'm going to have to...to keep from doing it again. I was a major cranky pants last night too and no one was safe from my wrath! I hate being like that. It's nobody's fault really and if I had to blame someone I would have to blame myself, right? So why take it out on everyone else? It's a pity and was a wasted night...today should be better. So As you could see, my sugar is still elevated this morning from yesterday. Why can't carb counting be easier? I'm pretty sure that was the central part of yesterday afternoon's demise. Today will be better. It will.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Ugh.
Blood Sugar: 172 Thankfully!
I don't know what craziness is going on inside my body today...but I've had a really crappy afternoon. I ate my normal lunch around one and by 2:30 I was going low and dropping. So I'm at my desk popping glucose tabs and checking my blood sugar every 15 minutes. I hate days like this because it feels like you're never going to recover from it. I'm so tired now and instead of doing a full bolus, I dropped it in half because I don't want it to come down too fast again. Why does this happen? Now I'll have the inevitable highs for the rest of the evening. How do you spell frustration? D-I-A-B-E-T-E-S
I don't know what craziness is going on inside my body today...but I've had a really crappy afternoon. I ate my normal lunch around one and by 2:30 I was going low and dropping. So I'm at my desk popping glucose tabs and checking my blood sugar every 15 minutes. I hate days like this because it feels like you're never going to recover from it. I'm so tired now and instead of doing a full bolus, I dropped it in half because I don't want it to come down too fast again. Why does this happen? Now I'll have the inevitable highs for the rest of the evening. How do you spell frustration? D-I-A-B-E-T-E-S
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wrapping Up The Journey
Blood Sugar: 128
So, the new doctor understood my need for the pump but also realized that I needed an endocrinologist to do it right. She suggested that I go see the endo she was affliated with. She said to go see the endo one time and if I didn't like her, that she would do what she had to do to get me pumping. I saw the endo and found another woman with the heart of a teacher. She wanted to help me, she wanted me on the pump, she wanted me to have a better life. As far as doctors go, I've hit my second grand slam. They are both terrific. So I saw the endo the first time in June 2007. I saw her CDE (Certified Diabetes Educator)in July and we applied to my insurance for coverage of a pump. Of course it was a fight. The insurance company didn't want to give me a pump because I hadn't bothered to take care of myself all this time, let alone go to the doctor. So they said that because I hadn't been seen by a doctor 4 times in the last year, that they wouldn't approve me. It was a long road...but I got my appointments in and started on my pump 6 months later. Quite the change from my original doctor. And I'm going strong. My only regret is that I didn't make the switch sooner, but I guess that everything has it's reason and purpose and I have to accept that. Maybe the wait was a way for me to grow as a diabetic and caring for myself so that I was ready to go on the OmniPod in January. It's been life-changing...all for the better.
So, the new doctor understood my need for the pump but also realized that I needed an endocrinologist to do it right. She suggested that I go see the endo she was affliated with. She said to go see the endo one time and if I didn't like her, that she would do what she had to do to get me pumping. I saw the endo and found another woman with the heart of a teacher. She wanted to help me, she wanted me on the pump, she wanted me to have a better life. As far as doctors go, I've hit my second grand slam. They are both terrific. So I saw the endo the first time in June 2007. I saw her CDE (Certified Diabetes Educator)in July and we applied to my insurance for coverage of a pump. Of course it was a fight. The insurance company didn't want to give me a pump because I hadn't bothered to take care of myself all this time, let alone go to the doctor. So they said that because I hadn't been seen by a doctor 4 times in the last year, that they wouldn't approve me. It was a long road...but I got my appointments in and started on my pump 6 months later. Quite the change from my original doctor. And I'm going strong. My only regret is that I didn't make the switch sooner, but I guess that everything has it's reason and purpose and I have to accept that. Maybe the wait was a way for me to grow as a diabetic and caring for myself so that I was ready to go on the OmniPod in January. It's been life-changing...all for the better.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The Saga Continues...
Blood Sugar: 101
I was a diabetic mess. I ate what I wanted and only took shots here and there. I was 15 when I was hospitalized for DKA and in the ICU overnight. They started giving me insulin and amazingly I got better very quickly! LOL I know they obviously knew that I wasn't taking my shots, but I assured them that was not the case and I always did as I should and blah, blah, blah. The doctors never questioned me again about it, but how could they not know that I was lying? All the details made it perfectly clear that I wasn't doing what I should. Diabetes was my enemy and I was going to do whatever I had to do to combat it. Looking back, I realize that I treated diabetes as the annoying person that always shows up uninvited. If you just keep ignoring them, eventually they will quit coming around. I realize now all the valuable time that I wasted thinking like that. How many years did I personally subtract from my life by allowing myself to live this way? I spent a lot of time blaming people and it wasn't until I met my husband at age 26 that I had an epiphany. You can't always point the finger of blame at everyone else...more often than not, you need to point it right at yourself.
So when I moved back to Ohio in 2001 , I got a job that offered health insurance and started seeing an endocrinologist. I liked him well enough and I thought he was cute, so it wasn't difficult to make myself go to the appointments. I told him that I realized that I needed to make some changes in my life and I wanted to start on insulin pump therapy. He tried, really he did. I just had absolutely no control of my diabetes and appointment after appointment only showed how futile my attempts were. I hadn't controlled my diabetes for years and it wasn't giving up too easy.
He was in a practice of several doctors and decided I needed to start seeing his colleague. Fine, how bad could it be, right? So I went in for my first appointment and he gave me a formula, a sliding scale for injections, told me to count my carbs and come back in 30 days. I was lost. He didn’t explain the formula, I didn’t know how to count carbs and I was a mess…still. I made an appointment with his assistant and he explained how the formula worked, explained why we count carbs instead of exchanges and told me to test, test, test. I went in for my follow up appointment with the doctor a month later. I counted carbs every time I ate. I was testing at least 4 times a day but it was usually 6 or 8. I hadn’t tested my blood sugar on a regular basis since I was under the strict supervision of my mom. The doctor was appalled by the information I was giving him. He asked me how I thought he could make educated decisions about my health care, if this was the information I was giving him. So I told him to tell me exactly what he wanted…WOW. He wanted me to test 8 times a day AND every day for a month at 2 AM. He wanted me to keep a detailed diary of the foods I was eating and count the carbs. OK, I’ll do it. I wanted to be on the pump and this was the road to get there. I left that day with a mission, made my appointment for 30 days later and went to the store and bought a food scale and new measuring cups. I was going to knock his socks off at my next appointment. So I didn’t get up every day for the next 30 at 2 AM, but I did do it a lot…I’d never done it before. There were FEW days that I didn’t test 8 times a day, but it was FEW. I wrote down amounts and foods and carb contents in a notebook and couldn’t wait for my next appointment….then I went. He was appalled by my records, he was appalled by what I ate, he screamed at me about not taking care of myself. I’d had it. I started telling him what I thought about all of this diabetes crap and as I gathered up my stuff, I told him that it was a pity that his knowledge was wasted on him because he was an ass. I continued cussing him as I left. Told his nurse I was sorry she had to work for him. Then I cussed him some more as I walked through the waiting room. I vowed to NEVER go to a doctor again.
So for a year I continued to use the sliding scale and formula he had given me. I refilled my prescriptions every month and was taking better care of myself even though my BG's never showed that. I woke up every morning with my blood sugar at least 300, but usually in the 500's. I just coped. Figured my dose and continued just taking 3 shots a day of Novolog and Humulin N. Finally, I called in a refill and the pharmacy said that the doctor wouldn't refill it until I went in. What's a girl to do?
I realized that I had to find a doctor. Boy, I didn't want to have anything to do with a doctor, but I was in need. I could go, get the prescriptions written and then I was good for another year. A girl I worked with HIGHLY recommended her GP...She could write a prescription for insulin and that was good enough for me. So I made the appointment. Something strange happened in her office that had never happened to me before...I liked her...really liked her. I liked her enough that I wanted to hear what she had to say. I told her that I wanted to be on the pump and that I wanted her to put me on it.
I was a diabetic mess. I ate what I wanted and only took shots here and there. I was 15 when I was hospitalized for DKA and in the ICU overnight. They started giving me insulin and amazingly I got better very quickly! LOL I know they obviously knew that I wasn't taking my shots, but I assured them that was not the case and I always did as I should and blah, blah, blah. The doctors never questioned me again about it, but how could they not know that I was lying? All the details made it perfectly clear that I wasn't doing what I should. Diabetes was my enemy and I was going to do whatever I had to do to combat it. Looking back, I realize that I treated diabetes as the annoying person that always shows up uninvited. If you just keep ignoring them, eventually they will quit coming around. I realize now all the valuable time that I wasted thinking like that. How many years did I personally subtract from my life by allowing myself to live this way? I spent a lot of time blaming people and it wasn't until I met my husband at age 26 that I had an epiphany. You can't always point the finger of blame at everyone else...more often than not, you need to point it right at yourself.
So when I moved back to Ohio in 2001 , I got a job that offered health insurance and started seeing an endocrinologist. I liked him well enough and I thought he was cute, so it wasn't difficult to make myself go to the appointments. I told him that I realized that I needed to make some changes in my life and I wanted to start on insulin pump therapy. He tried, really he did. I just had absolutely no control of my diabetes and appointment after appointment only showed how futile my attempts were. I hadn't controlled my diabetes for years and it wasn't giving up too easy.
He was in a practice of several doctors and decided I needed to start seeing his colleague. Fine, how bad could it be, right? So I went in for my first appointment and he gave me a formula, a sliding scale for injections, told me to count my carbs and come back in 30 days. I was lost. He didn’t explain the formula, I didn’t know how to count carbs and I was a mess…still. I made an appointment with his assistant and he explained how the formula worked, explained why we count carbs instead of exchanges and told me to test, test, test. I went in for my follow up appointment with the doctor a month later. I counted carbs every time I ate. I was testing at least 4 times a day but it was usually 6 or 8. I hadn’t tested my blood sugar on a regular basis since I was under the strict supervision of my mom. The doctor was appalled by the information I was giving him. He asked me how I thought he could make educated decisions about my health care, if this was the information I was giving him. So I told him to tell me exactly what he wanted…WOW. He wanted me to test 8 times a day AND every day for a month at 2 AM. He wanted me to keep a detailed diary of the foods I was eating and count the carbs. OK, I’ll do it. I wanted to be on the pump and this was the road to get there. I left that day with a mission, made my appointment for 30 days later and went to the store and bought a food scale and new measuring cups. I was going to knock his socks off at my next appointment. So I didn’t get up every day for the next 30 at 2 AM, but I did do it a lot…I’d never done it before. There were FEW days that I didn’t test 8 times a day, but it was FEW. I wrote down amounts and foods and carb contents in a notebook and couldn’t wait for my next appointment….then I went. He was appalled by my records, he was appalled by what I ate, he screamed at me about not taking care of myself. I’d had it. I started telling him what I thought about all of this diabetes crap and as I gathered up my stuff, I told him that it was a pity that his knowledge was wasted on him because he was an ass. I continued cussing him as I left. Told his nurse I was sorry she had to work for him. Then I cussed him some more as I walked through the waiting room. I vowed to NEVER go to a doctor again.
So for a year I continued to use the sliding scale and formula he had given me. I refilled my prescriptions every month and was taking better care of myself even though my BG's never showed that. I woke up every morning with my blood sugar at least 300, but usually in the 500's. I just coped. Figured my dose and continued just taking 3 shots a day of Novolog and Humulin N. Finally, I called in a refill and the pharmacy said that the doctor wouldn't refill it until I went in. What's a girl to do?
I realized that I had to find a doctor. Boy, I didn't want to have anything to do with a doctor, but I was in need. I could go, get the prescriptions written and then I was good for another year. A girl I worked with HIGHLY recommended her GP...She could write a prescription for insulin and that was good enough for me. So I made the appointment. Something strange happened in her office that had never happened to me before...I liked her...really liked her. I liked her enough that I wanted to hear what she had to say. I told her that I wanted to be on the pump and that I wanted her to put me on it.
Friday, October 31, 2008
The Beginning of My Journey
Blood Sugar: 315
So this is the story of my diagnosis...and life prior to the pump. I know it's long, but I bet there are many, many out there that can relate to many, many things that I did and went through. Leave me a comment and let me know you've been there...we're not alone in this, even though it feels like we are at times....
As they say in The Wizard Of Oz, it’s always best to start at the beginning. I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in 1984, when I was 8 years old. I had been feeling pretty bad for a while and losing weight, drinking excessively. It was a Monday...I remember it clearly. We had gotten in trouble on the school bus on Friday and as we were waiting for the bus that morning I turned to my mom and said, "I don't feel good." She started to check me out when my older brother says, "We're supposed to get in trouble today because of what happened on the bus Friday. She's not sick, she's scared." So out the door I went. Ok, so I was scared, but I really didn't feel good.
So anyway, at lunch time, I made my way to the lunch line with the other kids...I was feeling worse and worse the longer I stood there. I finally get to the cashier and I looked at her and said, "I don't feel good." Annoyed, she hollered at me, "Well don't tell me about it, go tell the nurse." I left my tray of food there and headed to the nurse's office.
I get to the doorway and realize that the nurse’s office is down three flights of steps. I was dizzy, I was sweating, I thought I was going to toss my cookies. I stood at the top of the steps for a moment before I realized there was no way that I could walk down them. So I sat and scooted myself all the way down three flights of steps and two landings to the nurse. I think when she saw me, she knew something was amiss. I started telling her how I was feeling and I think she had an inkling that it might be diabetes. She called my mom and my mom had my grandparents come to the school and pick me up and my mom met us at the doctor's office.
We got right into the doctor...I don't remember her name, but those few minutes that my mom and I were in the exam room I will never forget. They took blood and urine and poked and prodded me and I don't know exactly what they found in their testing...but they told my mom that I had diabetes and that she should take me home and wait for the call to go to the hospital.
Well, a lot of things run through your mind when a doctor says, "diabetes," and your mom starts crying. I just knew I was going to die. What else could it be? I mean, nothing makes moms cry, right?
So we went back to grandma's to wait for the call that they were ready for me at Children's Hospital. I can't even begin to imagine what my parents were going through. They had divorced in 1980 and were both remarried...but the pain for each of them was the same. They were going to be trained to put their daughter through the paces of diabetes every day.
I remember not feeling good. I remember the nurses being nice. I have NO recollection of any doctors at this point. I'm sure they were all over me, but I must be blocking them. LOL I remember watching my mom, dad and step-dad give shots to towels, then to oranges and then to each other. I remember when they started coming after me.
We had no idea about carb counting. There was a STRICT exchange diet and I was miserable. Nothing tasted good anymore and I was always hungry...what I would have given for one more bowl of Strawberry Shortcake cereal...I still remember how good it was. My mother meticulously measured and weighed everything that I ate. She packed my meals and snacks for school. I couldn't tell at the time when my blood sugar was going low and often passed out at school. To punish me, that's what it felt like, my teacher made me eat my snack in class and then bring my snack bag up to her so she could make sure that I'd eaten it all. I was horror stricken. I was SO different from everyone else and 8 year olds are not nice. They made sure I knew how different I was. They would tell me to go and sit with my own kind. I'm 32 years old and I can still see the faces of these children and I can still feel the sting of their words today...as if all this time had never passed.
I think it was at this point after my diagnosis that I began to let the hate fill me. I hated doctors and I hated my parents, I hated the other kids that could eat their Halloween candy, I hated my brothers and sister for eating the Halloween candy that I had gathered. I was bitter and alone and left there.
It was in junior high that I realized that the doctors didn't know what they were talking about. I could skip shots and be fine all day long. So that's what I did. I'd skip one shot a day, usually my morning one and then do whatever I wanted at school...I ate milkshakes and Icees and Little Debbie was quickly becoming my best friend. I didn't need instruction and I didn't need to take shots, the doctors and my parents were just overreacting...look at me, I'm fine. I was finally, for the first time in my life, functioning just like everybody else and it felt good....then I realized that I could skip both my shots every once in a while and things would be fine....that all changed the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of high school...
So this is the story of my diagnosis...and life prior to the pump. I know it's long, but I bet there are many, many out there that can relate to many, many things that I did and went through. Leave me a comment and let me know you've been there...we're not alone in this, even though it feels like we are at times....
As they say in The Wizard Of Oz, it’s always best to start at the beginning. I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in 1984, when I was 8 years old. I had been feeling pretty bad for a while and losing weight, drinking excessively. It was a Monday...I remember it clearly. We had gotten in trouble on the school bus on Friday and as we were waiting for the bus that morning I turned to my mom and said, "I don't feel good." She started to check me out when my older brother says, "We're supposed to get in trouble today because of what happened on the bus Friday. She's not sick, she's scared." So out the door I went. Ok, so I was scared, but I really didn't feel good.
So anyway, at lunch time, I made my way to the lunch line with the other kids...I was feeling worse and worse the longer I stood there. I finally get to the cashier and I looked at her and said, "I don't feel good." Annoyed, she hollered at me, "Well don't tell me about it, go tell the nurse." I left my tray of food there and headed to the nurse's office.
I get to the doorway and realize that the nurse’s office is down three flights of steps. I was dizzy, I was sweating, I thought I was going to toss my cookies. I stood at the top of the steps for a moment before I realized there was no way that I could walk down them. So I sat and scooted myself all the way down three flights of steps and two landings to the nurse. I think when she saw me, she knew something was amiss. I started telling her how I was feeling and I think she had an inkling that it might be diabetes. She called my mom and my mom had my grandparents come to the school and pick me up and my mom met us at the doctor's office.
We got right into the doctor...I don't remember her name, but those few minutes that my mom and I were in the exam room I will never forget. They took blood and urine and poked and prodded me and I don't know exactly what they found in their testing...but they told my mom that I had diabetes and that she should take me home and wait for the call to go to the hospital.
Well, a lot of things run through your mind when a doctor says, "diabetes," and your mom starts crying. I just knew I was going to die. What else could it be? I mean, nothing makes moms cry, right?
So we went back to grandma's to wait for the call that they were ready for me at Children's Hospital. I can't even begin to imagine what my parents were going through. They had divorced in 1980 and were both remarried...but the pain for each of them was the same. They were going to be trained to put their daughter through the paces of diabetes every day.
I remember not feeling good. I remember the nurses being nice. I have NO recollection of any doctors at this point. I'm sure they were all over me, but I must be blocking them. LOL I remember watching my mom, dad and step-dad give shots to towels, then to oranges and then to each other. I remember when they started coming after me.
We had no idea about carb counting. There was a STRICT exchange diet and I was miserable. Nothing tasted good anymore and I was always hungry...what I would have given for one more bowl of Strawberry Shortcake cereal...I still remember how good it was. My mother meticulously measured and weighed everything that I ate. She packed my meals and snacks for school. I couldn't tell at the time when my blood sugar was going low and often passed out at school. To punish me, that's what it felt like, my teacher made me eat my snack in class and then bring my snack bag up to her so she could make sure that I'd eaten it all. I was horror stricken. I was SO different from everyone else and 8 year olds are not nice. They made sure I knew how different I was. They would tell me to go and sit with my own kind. I'm 32 years old and I can still see the faces of these children and I can still feel the sting of their words today...as if all this time had never passed.
I think it was at this point after my diagnosis that I began to let the hate fill me. I hated doctors and I hated my parents, I hated the other kids that could eat their Halloween candy, I hated my brothers and sister for eating the Halloween candy that I had gathered. I was bitter and alone and left there.
It was in junior high that I realized that the doctors didn't know what they were talking about. I could skip shots and be fine all day long. So that's what I did. I'd skip one shot a day, usually my morning one and then do whatever I wanted at school...I ate milkshakes and Icees and Little Debbie was quickly becoming my best friend. I didn't need instruction and I didn't need to take shots, the doctors and my parents were just overreacting...look at me, I'm fine. I was finally, for the first time in my life, functioning just like everybody else and it felt good....then I realized that I could skip both my shots every once in a while and things would be fine....that all changed the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of high school...
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Inspiration
Blood Sugar: 152
I saw starting with my current blood sugar over at www.thebuttercompartment.com and I think it's a fabulous addition! I have been diabetic for 24 years and have decided it's time to take control of my life and my disease. I've been inspired by finding a community of 'd-bloggers' and decided that I can write what I feel about this disease and what I think about it and if I help one other person, then it's been successful. That being said this is my first official post and I'm thankful that I'm here to write it.
I saw starting with my current blood sugar over at www.thebuttercompartment.com and I think it's a fabulous addition! I have been diabetic for 24 years and have decided it's time to take control of my life and my disease. I've been inspired by finding a community of 'd-bloggers' and decided that I can write what I feel about this disease and what I think about it and if I help one other person, then it's been successful. That being said this is my first official post and I'm thankful that I'm here to write it.
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